Ryan Murphy has Gone Crazy!
by Official Scroll Keeper
Summary: Ok so um...basically this was me torturing Ryan Murphy the way he and his writers torture us. Umm...I apologize for the few swearwords used in this, normally my language is way clean, but the song had swear words in it. So, Read and enjoy the torture!


**Disclaimer:** So, I don't own Glee. The person I know who is the closest to owning Glee would be my friend, who has all the CDs, DVDs, and magazines with Glee in them, plus a pair of TEAM STARKID glasses. So, yeah, if she doesn't get to own Glee, then I don't either.

So this is basically what I wish would happen to Ryan Murphy and his writers cuz they can make me so mad, but them fooling around with Kurt's heart is not okay with me! I'm not gay or anything like that, but regardless of my own views of Gays and all that (I'm not saying I'm pro or anti), Kurt is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE CHARACTER! Chris Colfer is an amazing actor, his facial expressions are just TOO much, so yeah enjoy me torturing Ryan Murphy! :) R&R! Please!

Oh, and just so you know, the song is not exactly Glee style, it's more of a rap, but keep in mind that they would've totally rearranged the song so it was more their style. So if you just concentrate on the words and come up with your own tune or whatever, it'll sound better. The song is "Leave Us Alone" by Kottonmouth Kings.

* * *

Ryan Murphy walked into the room where they shot the Mckinley High Glee Club.

The writers were already there as was Brad.

Brad was sitting at the piano minding his own business as usual.

The writers were sitting on the Glee chairs in a circle.

"All right, let's get this started." He said as he walked into the circle and sat in the only chair left open. "Where's the script? Okay." He grabbed the script that was handed to him and pointed at the head writer who began explaining a basic synopsis.

"We were thinking for the next episode we could mess with the Klaine fans. Something along the lines of instead of them kissing in front of the GAP, Blaine goes to kiss Kurt and Kurt pulls back without thinking. Reflex reaction because of Karofsky. As well as the hurt he felt when he saw Blaine singing to the guy in the GAP earlier in the episode. Blaine feels rejected and when they get back to Dalton he avoids Kurt..."

Ryan began to zone out a little bit. He could see where this was going. He was flipping through the script, trying to appear interested and like he was listening, when he saw a tiny movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head slightly and jumped in his seat. The entire glee club of Mckinely high as well as Kurt, Blaine, Wes, and David were standing there, glaring him down.

Ryan blinked a few times in alarm and pinched himself to make sure he was awake. He'd told all the actors and actressses to go home. They'd left. They'd all gone out for sushi!

Ryan turned back around to stare at the writers but he couldn't help it, he had to look again.

He carefully and slowly turned his head a fraction of an inch and blinked. They were all still there, glaring at him. He sat there staring back for a solid ten minutes before finally giving them his full attention.

"What!" He asked, turning fully to face his glaring characters.

"Really?" Kurt asked with his arms crossed, an accusing stare on his face, "You can't leave **one **couple alone?"

"Uh..." Ryan managed to get out before Finn spoke.

"Yeah! you couldn't leave me and Quinn alone! No, she had to go cheat on me with Puck!"

Then Rachel chimed in. "Not only that, you couldn't leave me and Finn alone or even me and...Jesse." She choked out, ending weakly as she mentioned him. Then she shook her head and put her glare back on.

The entire Glee club shook their heads at her. "You did that to yourself Rachel." Artie told her. "But-" Her expression faltered and then the glare came back stronger than ever.

"You couldn't leave me and Terri alone, except for when she was pregnant, but even then you didn't leave us alone. Not that I'm saying me and Terri were perfect, but still..."

When Mr. Shue went quiet Mercede's jumped in to defend him further. "Yeah, and even after Terri, he and Emma should've worked out, but no first Ken was in the way, then April and the coach of Vocal Adrenaline have to make appearances in his life!"

"And still after all that, his and Emma's relationship still doesn't work out because of CARL!" Quinn stated finishing Mercede's thoughts in exasperation.

Mr. Shue flinched as the two girls rehashed his life in a nutshell. "Wow...my life sucks." He muttered.

Then Tina piped up. "You couldn't leave me and Artie alone either. Nope you had to drag Brittany and Mike into our lives. It's not that I am complaining, I do enjoy being in a relationship with Mike, but it's the principle of the matter."

"Yeah, I have very few complaints about being with Brittany, but what Tina says is true."

"Let's see what other relationships have you guys managed to mess with?" Santana mused. "I'm sure the list could go on."

"Um, excuse me, but we had to keep people interested and to do that, we had to mess with a few things." Ryan tried to defend himself.

By this time it was obvious to the writers that Ryan was no longer listening.

They were trading glances back and forth.

_What was he doing? Who was he talking to ?_

He had turned completely away from them now and was looking over towards the wall where the chairs were scattered about.

He seemed to be defending himself from...something. Possibly some fan letter he was thinking about, but to the writers he looked a little...crazy, screaming at nothingness...

"So anyways, what we wanted to tell you," Finn began, cutting off Ryan's defense, "is that you and those guys need to leave Kurt and Blaine alone." He gestured mutinously towards the writers, as though he would like to give them all a piece of his mind.

"To do that, we have prepared a new arrangement of a song that we hope will explain everything to you. Our goal is that by the end of our performance, you realize how seriously we are taking this and how you should do the same." Rachel said calmly as she walked over to the piano and set a piece of music in front of Brad.

Ryan rubbed his eyes. Was Brad real or a figment of his imagination? Had he been there before?

He couldn't remember for the life of him.

Brad began to play and the writers briefly acknowledged him before turning back to look at their boss who seemed to be going insane.

His eyes were wide and he was gaping. Well at least he wasn't crazy, Brad really was there, the writers had acknowledged him.

As the music began the Glee kids started to sing.

_**[Mike]**_  
_I m Hip-hop by definition._  
_**[Tina]**_  
_Punk rock runs through my veins._  
_**[Rachel]**_  
_I stepped on many stages._  
_**[Puck]**_  
_Puffed on many strains._  
_**[Mercedes]**_  
_Ask me any question._  
_**[Kurt]**_  
_This song remains the same._  
_**[Santana]**_  
_Bitch you know the name._  
_**[All boys except Kurt and Blaine]**_  
_Let s go!_

_**[Chorus=All but Kurt and Blaine]**_  
_[3x] Whoahhoooahh _

_**[ALL]**_  
_Why can't we just get along?_  
_**[Puck - pointing at the writers]**_  
_All these security guards._  
_**[Rachel]**_  
_Runnin round shows always actin hard._  
_**[Quinn]**_  
_Why can't, we get along?_  
_**[Santana & Puck]**_  
_Party all night till the break of dawn._  
_**[Kurt]**_  
_Why don't, you leave us alone?_  
_**[Blaine]**_  
_Why don't you just leave us alone?_  
_**[All]**_  
_Why can't, we have a good time?_  
_**[All]**_  
_Why can't we just have a good time?  
_  
_**[Kurt & Blaine w/all in the background]**_  
_Why don't you leave us alone?_  
_Whoahhoooahh _  
_Why don't you leave us alone?_  
_Whoahhoooahh _  
_Why can't we just get along?_  
_Whoahhoooahh _  
_Why don't you leave us alone?_

_**[Finn, Sam, Puck]  
**Leave us alone tough guy!_  
_Let us have fun tough guy!_  
_I'll kick your ass! _

_**[Puck]  
**Actin' like you re a cop, but you ain't got no badge._  
_Tryin to take my pot, then you re getting a toe tag._  
_Searchin peoples' pockets actin like a true jake._  
_I can see you buyin steroids with your minimum wage. _

_**[Finn]**_  
_A-Hole boy, yeah you in the yellow shirt._  
_Actin' all tough, but you're really just a nerd._  
_You don't get paid; you're not superman._  
_The money that you make it s to lend a helpin hand. _

_**[Artie]**_  
_Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me sir._  
_I paid twenty bucks to get in here now my vision is blurred,_  
_from that bass now this joker is just lookin disturbed._  
_These are extreme actions just for smokin some herb. _

_**[Kurt - gesturing to Mercedes]**_  
_No she don't got a wristband but she's with me._  
_I m in the House, so excuse me please._  
_Now don't make a scene you might lose your job._  
_If you had any education you'd just smile and nod. _

_**[Mike]  
**Why you tryin' to act hard you really pillow soft._  
_You can meet me in the parkin' lot we could straight up box._  
_You know you're bigger than me, but size don't matter._  
_I'm from the old school fool bitch ass get popped! _

_**[Mr. Shue]**_  
_We came in peace to celebrate,_  
_Get high and demonstrate,_  
_You keep spreading lots of hate._  
_Kickin ass and takin names._  
_Why, you actin like a macho asshole?_  
_Beatin on a kid man he's 16 years old chill!_  
_(chill chill chill) _

_**[Artie]**_  
_Tough guy! Leave us alone!_  
_I'll kick your ass!_  
_Tough guy! Anyone in the pit, up! _

_**[Santana]**_  
_Bitch you know the name!_

_**[Brittany]  
**Let s go! _

_**[Chorus=All but Kurt]**_  
_[3x] Whoahhoooahh _  
_**[ALL]**_  
_Why can't we just get along? _

_**[Artie - gesturing to the writers]**_  
_All these security guards._  
_**[Quinn]**_  
_Runnin round shows always actin hard._  
_**[Brittany]**_  
_Why can't, we get along?_  
_**[Mercedes]**_  
_Party all night till the break of dawn._  
_**[Kurt]**_  
_Why don't, you leave us alone?_  
_**[Blaine]**_  
_Why don't you just leave us alone?_  
_**[All]**_  
_Why can't, we have a good time?_  
_**[All]**_  
_Why can't we just have a good time?  
_  
_**[Kurt and Blaine w/all chorus in the background]**_  
_Why don't you leave us alone?_  
_Whoahhoooahh _  
_Why don't you leave us alone?_  
_Whoahhoooahh _  
_Why can't we just get along?_  
_Whoahhoooahh _  
_Why don't you leave us alone? _

As the last notes played on the piano, they had all surrounded Ryan's chair in a massive group. They all glared down at him, and Ryan just gaped at them.

"Umm...I'll get back to you on that." Ryan shut his eyes and turned back to the writers, forcing himself to keep his focus on them only.

"So umm, let me take the script home with me tonight and I'll get back to you with my ideas and notes tomorrow. Okay?"

The writers agreed, with worry plain on their faces, and then the meeting ended.

Ryan rushed out of there as quick as possible.

Once he had gotten to his home, he locked the front door and quickly got in the shower to try and help calm himself down.

When he got out he dressed in his pajamas and got in bed.

He turned on his bedside lamp and held the script in his hands. "Ok...let's hurry and read this so I can figure out what to do."

He began reading and read the entire script rather quickly. _Kurt rejecting Blaine, Blaine choosing warblers, dalton, and Wes and David over Kurt? Yeah, I think we'd lose more ratings than we'd gain._

The writer's were right, this would definitely mess with Klaine fans. But did he really want to do that?

"That's a good question."

Ryan jumped and slowly turned his head toward his doorway.

Clustered around the doorway, leaning casually, was Finn, Puck, Sam, and Mike, with Artie in the center in his wheelchair.

"Do you really want to mess with them?" Sam asked.

"Because I don't think you do." Puck said threateningly.

"You can mess with ANYONE else! But Kurt is off limits and by association, so is Blaine." Mike said.

"We don't have to sleep you know? We're just characters that are figments of your imagination. But we know you have to sleep and you couldn't make us go away, unless...you decide to leave them alone." Artie said.

"You said it yourself, you're figments of my imagination. So why can't I make you go away?" Ryan asked them, sounding a bit hysteric.

"Maybe we're part of your conscience." Artie said. "You know this wrong."

Ryan shut his eyes and sat there for a moment. "I don't...just...go away." He said. When he opened his eyes the boys were gone.

He peered around the room and then quickly turned off the his bedside lamp and put the script aside.

Later that night he heard the sound of his door creaking closed and clicking as it shut completely. His heart rate accelerated and he glanced at his clock.

_Three in the morning...?_ He slowly let his arm hang off the edge of the bed, reaching for the bat he kept under his bed.

He grabbed the bat, and snatched the covers back as he sat up.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Shouted Santana waving her arms about in all her sassy glory.

"We just wanted to talk..." Tina said, circling his bed, looking for all the world, like an actual vampire.

Ryan wouldn't have been surprised to see fangs protruding from her mouth. He looked quickly away from Tina and spotted Quinn examining her nails, Mercedes glaring at him as she paced, and Brittany smiling at him.

"You wouldn't really hurt Kurt on purpose would you?" Brittany asked sweetly. "Everyone likes him so much, and he has the softest lady hands."

Quinn gave Brittany a fleeting glance of something close to disdain, and walked over to Ryan, who raised his bat threateningly. "That bat won't hurt me, and even if it could, I've been through labor, nothing can be worse than that. So you might as well put the bat down."

Ryan slowly lowered the bat to the floor and leaned back against his head board. "Uh..."

"Just be quiet. All we want to know..." Quinn began.

"Is whether or not you are going to let your writers plans for Kurt and Blaine actually happen?" Mercedes finished coming up on the other side of his bed, opposite Quinn.

"Uh...I don't know!" Shouted Ryan. He was starting to break and he knew it.

"Just leave me alone! Please!" He shut his eyes and once again, when he opened them, the glee kids were gone.

He sighed and got up. They weren't going to leave him alone. He felt like Ebenezer Scrooge, having been visited by ghosts. Luckily for him though, the glee kids hadn't made him leave his house to visit homes of workers, or his future grave site.

Ryan wandered his house, running his hands through his hair. If this was anything like "A Christmas Carol," he would be visited by one more group of glee kids.

But this was totally unknown territory.

This had never happened to him before, and who was to say he didn't have a hundred more visits from the glee cast ahead of him.

Ryan wandered back into his room and grabbed the script off his bed where he had left it.

Then he strode into the living room and flopped down onto the couch.

He reached for a pen that was on his coffee table and sat there, going over the script again. Making little notes as he went.

When the sun had begun to lighten the horizon Ryan sat back and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, he jumped two feet into the air.

Kurt and Blaine were standing in front of him, they were signaling to someone behind him.

Ryan slowly turned around and saw Wes and David standing in the doorway.

They hand their feet placed shoulders width apart and their arm crossed over their chests, looking like fancily dressed bouncers.

Only Ryan guessed these two were there for keeping people in, not out.

Ryan turned back to Kurt and Blaine and waited.

Kurt stepped forward and took a calming breath. Then he began.

"Don't you think Blaine and I have enough problems to deal with, such as our insecurities, mine more than his. Not to mention Blaine has a past that needs looking into. Wouldn't it be prudent to deal with those insecurities first, before you throw in another guy and start messing with the fact that our relationship, which is pretty much non-existent, is shaky enough. Sooner or later it's going to come crumbling down. And having Blaine sing, "when I get you alone," to that guy in the store is bad enough. If you go any further, we are going to have some major problems on our hands."

Blaine stepped up beside Kurt. "We promise to leave you alone in the future, but we really needed to ask you to just lay low on messing with Klaine in a negative way for a while. If you could give us a little break from the drama, we promise to leave you alone and let you have full reign of your show the next time you decide to deal with our issues. There are just so many other things to look into, such as the structure of Dalton Academy and Wes and David's feelings about me and Kurt. We're just asking for a grace period. Please?"

Blaine ended in an even voice.

Ryan sat there staring at two of his characters. "I've already rewritten some of the script. I've taken out some of the more...extreme parts and thrown in some other more, subtle points of drama. I think we can compromise and still have an interesting episode." Ryan stated calmly.

Blaine looked at the script and nodded like he understood. "We'll leave you alone then. Kurt don't forget to tell Mercedes and the others."

Kurt nodded. He didn't look happy, but he was more content that he had been when he showed up.

Kurt and Blaine walked around the couch to where David and Wes stood in the doorway.

Wes followed the first two out, but David stayed in the doorway for a moment. "If you double-cross us..." He said in a threatening voice. He made a gesture that frightened Ryan beyond belief and then turned, walking out of the doorway.

Ryan sat there as the sun finally came up over the mountain and shown into his living room directly. Then he got up and wandered into his room to get ready for the day.

As he arrived at the studio, Ryan got out of this car, holding his script, and locked his doors.

Then he wandered like a sleepwalker into the studio and hurried over to where the writers were gathered in an area backstage.

There were four couches set up in a square with a coffee table in the middle.

The cast and make-up artists and everyone who worked on the show liked to gather here and relax, or review lines while other scenes were being shot.

It was here that the writers were gathered, looking happy and sitting around leisurely.

They had finished the script on time for the shoot today and they were home free for at least a few hours.

Ryan walked up to the lounging writers and threw the script down on the coffee table in front of them.

"We need a rewrite. You'll find my notes helpful, there in all of that script. Your deadline is in 4 hours. The scenes I have passed off will be shot today and the rest in the next two days. Get started."

Then he walked away, in search of the mattresses from the episode "Jump."

He could finally sleep.

Behind him the writers were poring over his copy of the script and feverishly writing down the notes in their own copy. They all looked in a state of sheer panic.

As Ryan turned to glance back at them, he noticed the glee cast walk in the doors, talking animatedly.

As they saw the writers and the state they were in, they paused and looked around at Ryan.

He shrugged. "Rewrite." Then he turned and walked away.

* * *

Ok, so this was written pre-superbowl episode, and since I haven't seen it yet, I'm not quite certain what happened, but at least I got it up before the Tuesday February 8, episode aired. So yeah, and I know Ryan Murphy is probably married or something, but since I didn't feel like adding a wife althought I could've I decided against it and just had him live alone. Umm...so I hope you enjoyed it, I know I enjoyed writing it over the course of like two weeks, not continuously, but that just means I got to watch this all unfold slowly in my head, which was just...delicious. It was so enjoyable to torture someone, and use that person as a way of releasing stress.

But Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. Let me know kay? REVIEWS=3

Thankies,  
OSK


End file.
